Aries (March 21 - April 19)
The impatient Ram wants that caffeine buzz fast, fierce and now! Aries literally can’t wait for the barista to brew a fancy frappuccino. The simple act of steaming up the milk is beyond his or her limited attention span. And don’t let Aries’ already-overactive demeanor fool you. Rather than abstaining from further stimulation, this wild child can’t get enough! The Starbucks solution? Espresso, with two extra shots: not too hot, hold the cream, no soy and forget the sugar.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Someone who loves the finer things in life is willing to give up intense caffeination in favor of a sweet, creamy treat. But you’d better hope you don’t get caught behind the brassy Bull in the long line. With Taurus, the nervous deliberation can go on for more than a few minutes. There might not be much of a question about what Taurus wants (It’s gonna be the Double Chocolate Chip Blended Crème Frappuccino), but there could be some guilt-driven indecision about the portions involved. You can safely bet that a Taurus would sound something like this: “I want the Grande … no, maybe the Tall … er … oh, what the hell? Give me the Venti!”
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Already filled with nervous energy, Gemini really doesn’t need high-octane coffee. This mentally adroit individual always has millions of synapses firing at lighting speed. On top of that, it’s hard for this compulsive multi-tasker to focus on just one thing. You’ll notice this trait as Gemini scans the crowd, looking for a few fellow customers who might be up for sharing some one-on-one time. In fact, it would be rare for the barista to keep the average Gemini’s attention long enough to take their order for Iced Tea Lemonade. It’s caffeine-and-not-caffeine, sweet-and-not-so-sweet … perfect for Gemini, and definitely a conversation starter!
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Cancer can cook almost anything, and will want to order something that isn’t easily replicated at home. This something must also offer an exciting experience in taste and a gateway to happy feelings. While the average person is debating between sugar and artificial sweetener, Cancer’s query is more along the lines of: “What’s warm, creamy, sweet and full-bodied, yet sophisticated enough not to be served with a straw?” Fortunately, Starbucks offers the Caramel Macchiato as a multi-layered adventure in texture and flavor — just the kind of thing Cancer can get lost in for a few precious moments. Vanilla, espresso, steamed milk, foam — and of course, rich, gooey, sweet and sticky caramel on top. Yum.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Face it. Every Starbucks customer knows there’s a whole other language being used beyond those clean glass doors. Leo thrives on the pseudo-Euro drink names and the insider’s jargon that rolls off their tongue with a seeming lack of effort. That’s why this dramatic, showy soul is more likely to order the Dulce de Leche Latte, Venti as a favorite drink than any other. Besides, with all that caramel and sweet milk, the big pussycat living inside every Leo’s heart will lick its whiskers with great relish!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
This down-to-earth, health-conscious person is into high-quality, efficiency and basic goodness. Nothing appeals to a Virgo more than a luscious Starbucks signature brew. Whether it’s the robust breakfast blend or a sharp-tasting bean fresh from the Andes, Virgo isn’t ashamed to stick to the plain and simple in life. But since this is Starbucks, Virgo will also appreciate and take advantage of options such as skim milk, low cal sweetener, fresh cinnamon for flavor (and maybe its possible anti-diabetic properties) and, of course, extra napkins. Decaf is optional but probable with this order, resulting in a Starbucks experience that’s healthy and economical.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Libra is all about appearances. Before ordering a drink, this attractive individual is likely to ogle the displays of coffee mugs, commuter conveniences and parlor games — admiring the variety of color and geometric balance. After that comes the hard part: getting Libra to make a decision! Coffee? Espresso? Frappuccino? Wait … mocha? Maybe a little juice? A cookie? Libra loves pleasure, and admires nice colors and sumptuous tastes. A smart barista knows exactly what to whip up for a Libra — a Strawberries & Crème Blended Crème, of course! It’s sweet, fruity and downright pretty — with the symmetrical grace of a perfectly shaped ice cream cone.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio is likely to lurk before making the commitment to a final order. This mystery customer (probably behind way stylish shades) will take in the scene, noting such fine details as who pays with exact change and who pulls out a twenty — but with one eye on the menu. Once the choice is made, you can be sure this highly selective individual will go all the way. The Java Chip Frappuccino lets Scorpio dig into the depths of decadence. They’ll savor coffee with ice, chocolate syrup and whipped cream — while chunks of chocolate serve as little surprises — sustaining just the right level of suspense.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarius likes to show off their knowledge about the life and customs of other countries. Café americano? Don’t think so. How about cappuccino? Too run-of-the-mill. This distinctive creature will order a drink with a name that raises at least one eyebrow, and preferably serves as a launching point for a long story about one of Sagittarius’ many travels. More than one Centaur has probably ordered Starbucks’ Chai Tea Latte. This fine tea, enriched by the lavish spices of India and mellowed by milk (whole, skim or soy — depending on Sag’s weight that day) will do the trick.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Practical Capricorn sneaks into the coffee bar for a few minutes away from the job, probably attached to a laptop. Once the top button of the jacket or blazer is undone, this earthy person’s inner hedonist is sure to emerge. Most Capricorns don’t buy coffee — they have a staff or spouse that gladly makes it for them. Instead, a visit to Starbucks becomes a sojourn to the garden of earthly delights. What more appropriate elixir could there be, then, than Pomegrante Juice Blend? The little bit of green tea mixes nicely with the pomegranate and peach juices — and with the right straw, Capricorn can hide all the evidence of this sinfully juicy indulgence.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Aquarius is known for being quirky and a lot more conscious of communal concerns than the average person, so Starbucks definitely attracts this out-of-this-world individual. Don’t be surprised when Aquarius begins to ponder certain social ramifications before ordering. Are the teas pesticide-free? Has any animal testing occurred? Just who exactly picked those coffee beans, anyway? It’s a good thing Starbucks’ baristas are so accommodating. A good choice for Aquarius is the Green Tea Latte. Made with soy milk, it’s 100% vegan. Size-wise? Make it a Venti — Aquarius will want plenty of inspiration!
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces has probably been sent to Starbucks by family or co-workers who want this dreamy soul to wake up and smell the coffee! As this sometimes confused-looking soul enters the shop, they might be overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices. The complex names and the numerous options that delight just about everyone else could totally befuddle this tender-hearted person. Light? Is that color, weight or calories? Faced with the inevitable, Pisces will finally come to a decision once the herbal teas are spotted on the menu — but by then our fishy friend could be a nervous wreck. Luckily, every barista knows a sure fire way to fix that — relaxing Chamomile will always make a Pisces person smile.